By Mel Kolinski
I recently participated in the “Bring Your Ally” panel discussion with the Minnesota and Michigan Chapters of ACW. I encourage you to watch it online. We enjoyed a refreshingly open and honest conversation about how women are navigating male-dominated fields such as the tech industry.
In this blog, I will unpack my thoughts on this topic as a female who works in cybersecurity. I aim to help all ACW members gain more insight into their colleagues’ struggles behind the scenes. So, let’s dive in.
First, a little background. For 18 months, I have served as Director of Channel Development for Ostra Cybersecurity and am the Minnesota Chapter of ACW co-moderator. My involvement in ACW has allowed me to meet many amazing, strong women who have created a safe space to ask questions, get career support, and grow my network.
The Value of Male Allies
As a woman in tech, I have benefitted from having male allies along my career journey. But some people might wonder: Why do we need allies? Can’t we do this on our own?
In my experience, sometimes female voices get lost in places where we’re not the majority. This can contribute to a lack of self-confidence for women, especially for those at the beginning of their careers or women who work in industries where almost everyone else in the room is a man. In these situations, having the male voice on your side can help amplify your message to ensure it is heard.
I believe it’s important to model mutual respect as we work together toward a common goal. Males and females don’t need to be adversaries in the workplace — we can help each other succeed.
Fixing What Is Broken
I sometimes hear that the word “ally” is triggering for some people. Why? For some people, the need for an ally implies that something is broken, and we need help fixing it.
Organizations need to know that it’s okay to acknowledge when something is broken as long as you’re willing to do the work to fix it. Maybe we need to make it okay to feel a little bit broken.
Navigating Tricky Waters
I know there are men (and women) who have genuine fears about the risks of mentoring or working too closely with members of the opposite sex. This could include fears about misinterpretation of intentions, false accusations, concerns from spouses, lack of support from peers or management or even uncertainty about being able to provide meaningful and effective support.
Do some people make bad decisions? Sure. Do we all need to live in fear as a result? No. This is where trust and transparency are critical. At Ostra, we work hard to build a culture of transparency as a company. This impacts how we interact with our office colleagues, clients and partners.
I advise women and men to be open with the people around them about what’s happening with their workplace relationships and meetings. Talk about what you’re doing, where you’re going or what business deals you’re working on. Keep the focus on the work, and don’t leave room for people to spin their own stories.
Know Who Has Your Back
Sometimes, I’ve gone to industry events where things get uncomfortable. When I’m one of a handful of women in the room, and inappropriate comments start flying around, it’s good to know who has my back.
My colleague, Paul, is one of those people. Paul and I were attending an event this past year when a guy said something wildly inappropriate to me in front of 15 other men. I looked at Paul and said, “Did he just say that out loud?” And he said, “Yeah. What are we going to do about it?”
At that moment, I loved that Paul was showing his solidarity without needing to save me. He didn’t try to swoop in and fix it and didn’t embarrass me further by making it worse or turning this table of men against me. (Side note: At some of these events, you just don’t know who you’re dealing with — and that’s one reason it’s harder to speak out in public versus within the relative safety of your own company.) The industry needs to change, but it felt great to know I was not alone when facing this.
Celebrate What Success Looks Like
When you’re a woman working in a male-dominated field, it’s important to look for balance every day. There’s not one “silver bullet answer” to make exclusion, harassment or discrimination go away; otherwise, we’d be there already. But we can do the work, have the uncomfortable conversations, and then shout from the rooftop when things go well — because that is the example we want to set for others.
It’s easy to sit back and say, “Woe is me. I work in a male-dominated industry, and it’s super hard.” It’s so much better to celebrate what we can do together. Working with others who support you and want to see the whole team succeed is a giant step in the right direction.
About the Author
Mel Kolinski is the Director of Channel Development at Ostra Cybersecurity, a multi-layered and fully managed Security as a Service. In her role, Mel works with Ostra’s Channel Partners to deliver best-in-class cyber protection to small and medium-sized businesses. With more than 15 years of sales and account management experience, Mel is an engaging leader focused on finding solutions. Her ability to connect and build authentic relationships with others has enabled her to grow her network exponentially, identify new opportunities, and craft innovative strategies to navigate a complex sales channel successfully. This talent has played a pivotal role in nurturing long-lasting partnerships and driving significant growth.
