Don’t Dull Her Shine

Mar 22, 2021

By Stephanie Revill

“You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.” – Isadora Duncan

I’ve read plenty of articles that talk about women empowering other women, straightening each other’s crowns, and lifting each other through our daily struggles. But I’m going to flip the script because I think there’s another influence we may be overlooking. For anyone who is raising a strong-willed little girl, take note. These girls are tiny powerhouses, and I believe there’s a lot we can learn from them.

I won’t sugarcoat it. I have a 4-year-old daughter who breathes fire. She’s fierce, wild and oh so stubborn. She questions everything I say, and after a busy day at work, her energy is flat-out exhausting. Still, through all the tantrums and resistance (and me hiding in the bathroom to drink a glass of wine in peace), there isn’t a single thing about her I would change … and here’s why.

From a young age, we’re exposed to influences that make us think we need to dress, speak and carry ourselves in a specific way to be successful. Follow the rules, don’t question people higher on the totem pole than you, and that there are just some things “you need to accept.”

My untamed toddler isn’t one to just accept things. She has questions and opinions about everything, always speaks her mind (especially at the most inopportune moments) and doesn’t back down on the things she wants. She is also funny, compassionate, witty and her 100% authentic self at all times. She has an amazing zest for life and every moment is a new adventure. As exhausting as it is, I truly admire that about her.

It took me a long time to figure out that I should question rules, my opinions do matter, there is plenty of joy in the tiniest things, and I’m just as powerful in sneakers as I am in heels (and way more comfortable). She was born with the instincts that I didn’t pick up until well after college, and I’m not about to tame them. I will, however, continue to fuel her with the ammunition she needs to become the best version of herself:

  1. It’s perfectly acceptable to cry when you’re frustrated or hurt. You can break things and throw yourself on the floor if you get up and clean up the mess when you’re done because you don’t belong down there.
  2. Happiness is not a permanent state. Don’t be tricked into thinking getting what you want will make you happy. You will get more joy from giving than getting. If you’re feeling down, try helping someone out instead.
  3. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Be honest, transparent and authentic. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to and pretending to be something you’re not will just rob you of joy.
  4. Never lose your zest for life. Continue to see the beauty in all things and all people, even more so when life gets hard.
  5. Don’t use the word “can’t” unless you end the sentence with “yet”. I can’t do this – yet. Keep practicing, be consistent, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You can do it.
  6. Never stop asking why but have faith in your gut instinct. Continue to question everyone and everything – except your intuition. It’s a powerful tool that will get you far if you let it.

I’ll leave you with this: Mamas of fire-breathing girls, I feel your pain with every ounce of my soul, but with so much going on in the world, this is not the time to dull her shine. The world needs these fierce little girls who aren’t afraid to be heard, and these girls need role-models to tell them they’re perfect just the way they are. Take a deep breath, mama, and take note because she could probably teach you a thing or two.

About the Author

Stephanie Revill is the Marketing Manager at Telesystem, an ACW Silver Sponsor, and is a new ACW member in 2021. As a lover of all things creative, she had 12 years of professional design experience under her belt before being promoted to her current role – six of those as the Graphic Designer at Telesystem. Her expertise lies in increasing brand awareness, developing digital marketing strategies, and building engaging campaigns that educate prospects and facilitate action.